Happy Father's Day, Daddy

Okay...so maybe father's day is over, but what the heck. I am getting ahead for next year.

I want to talk about my dad. First of all, my dad and I are a lot alike. We are silly and we like the same kind of food (nothing soggy!). We have the same eyes and a lot of the same character traits. But, we are also really different.

My dad is incredibly generous. He is smart. He works hard. My dad is the one up late at night finishing the dishes. He is also the one up (very) early to make coffee. But the thing that sticks out the most to me is that my dad never complains. Okay, so maybe he is not always joyful (love you dad!), but he never complains. He really does work hard and he really doesn't complain about it. Being a dad is a lot of work but my dad sure doesn't make it look that way.

There are three things that I especially love about him. First, he is hilarious. He brings new meaning to the term "Proctor humor". To exhibit true Proctor humor you must first be a Proctor (obviously) and, second, you must always laugh at your own jokes. Most of the time that means laughing when nobody else is. But, you see, my dad has brought Proctor humor to a new level because he has gotten so good at laughing at his own jokes that me and my family members have started to laugh right along with him. Or is that just because we are Proctors as well....? The second thing that I love about my dad is his ability to find out pretty much anything. He knows what is airing on TV to what classes I should take next semester. I love it. Within days of my brother applying to West Point, my dad knew almost everything about the school. I distinctly remember my dad spurting out information about it to my brother who was totally clueless. The first time I mentioned I wanted to study abroad my dad instantly knew what my options where, how much, for how long and everything in between. Although this might just seem quirky, it is not. It shows the kind of person my dad is. He is smart and he invests his time. He invests his time in me and my siblings. And, not to mention, in really helpful ways. Third, lastly, he is always, always, always there when I need a hug.

With all that said, Dad, I am proud to be your daughter. I love you.

summer {so far}

thoughts

While I was looking around on the internet for a good book to read, I came across this quote:

"The great thing to remember is that though our feelings come and go, God's love for us does not," -C.S. Lewis

Wow. This quote hit a home run for me. Today at church we sorta talked about this. We talked about how you can be having a great day, how you can be on top of the world and your to-do list and even be feeling pretty close with God. Doing what He calls you to do and maybe even be reaching out to others. Rolling with the punches. All in all, things couldn't be better.

But then something happens and your world crashes.

It could be anything from a legit reason or something really dumb. Which most of the time it is. Something dumb as in irrelevant and small compared to your totally good day with God. Maybe it is a bad grade or some rude comment somebody made at work or maybe it is something somebody didn't do that you were expecting. Anyways, it makes your world crash. You don't feel like doing anything. You just don't care anymore. But, of course, the question sorta rises out of nowhere; how could something so small ruin what you thought was pretty strong?

I don't know the answer.

But I do know that it's okay, in one sense. It's not what we do that "makes" God love us--it's not how good (or how bad) of a day we are having. It's not just how much our world has crumbled. That's not the point at all. It doesn't depend on us. Perhaps this world crashing experience is unavoidable or perhaps its an expression of just how much things are messed up inside. Maybe it happens to everybody, maybe it doesn't. The point though; God still loves us. God still loves us when we let something silly breech our time and our affections towards Him.

He loves us even when we turn away. He loves us. Even though things turn our boat upside down, He is always there loving us. Not loving us back, but just loving us.

That is what gives me a whole lot of peace.

summertime and other things

summer:
-Alison Krauss concert
-fresh cut grass
-NYC
-18th birthday
-nephew
-bye bye wisdom teeth
-BBQ
-fishing
-YMCA
-flowers
-river
-sunburn
-sister's graduation
-pictures. lots and lots of pictures.

My goal for this summer is to really enjoy it. I mean, really take the time to enjoy it. And that just might include lots of trips to Uswirl.

Well, I suppose summer break has official started. And I also suppose I am officially done with highschool. What a weird feeling. Considering I skipped my senior year of highschool and spent it getting ahead on college, I wasn't quite prepared for the feeling. I feel old, proud, scared and excited all at the same time.
I am all registered at BSU for the fall. I AM SO EXCITED. I hear college is fun...
This summer is going to be very, very different. It will be the first summer without my grandpa. That makes me really sad especially since the horse races are back (woot woot). Also, it will be the first summer without my brother. Well, in a sense. He's getting facebook (right Aaron...?) and that's almost the same as being together in real life. Darn you 21st century....

marry me?

"Forever can never be long enough for me,
To feel like I've had long enough with you.
Forget the world now, we won't let them see.
But there's one thing left to do.

Now that the weight has lifted,
Love has surely shifted my way.

Marry me,
Today and every day.
Marry me.

Say you will.
Say you will." -Train

in love

do not be dismayed

"So do no fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous hand," -Isaiah 41:10